A Beautiful Mess

I have had love on my mind a lot lately. I think we all do at some point. We want to love and be loved. Of course, love isn’t always about romance. We all receive and give love in so many different ways to so many different people in our lives. It is however absolutely necessary to have a happy life. “The best thing in life is to hold on to each other” Audrey Hepburn. However, we all have had some kind of relationship that’s left us feeling hurt. Either from friend, parents or lovers.

Love is work. Every important relationship in our lives requires attention in order for it to grow. It’s easy to get busy with our lives, work, school, having fun and forget to cultivate love in our most important relationships. Maybe I should call or visit my parents more often, be the friend that doesn’t forget to call back. How can I express my love more to my wife or husband? Being a loving person takes a lot of intentional effort.

Love however can hurt a lot; from a broken heart, death, loving someone you can’t have, betrayal and so on. I often ask myself, will I ever stop getting hurt? Does God care when we are hurt? I have had my heart broken, barely kept it together, not being able to hold back my tears from friends and family. It’s hard to have faith when life gets hard, the feeling of despair, feeling us with guilt and shame, wondering what makes us so un loveable? darkness and pain is all that surround us. The pain seems unending slowly eats us up.

Some losses are far worse than heartbreak including losing loved ones by death. Grief is a part of love. You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But, the good news is that they live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly – that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.

When we lose relationships, we often feel like we’ve lost a part of ourselves too. Breakups and grief can change us, but it shouldn’t be for the worse. Sometimes, when am wondering if things will ever get back to normal am filled with this ‘what ifs’. But it is normal and healthy to have reservations but importantly am learning to practice forgiveness. Forgiving someone after a breakup is no easy task, especially if cheating or cruel treatment were among the reasons for your breakup. But forgiveness is not only something you offer your former partner. It’s essential to forgive yourself. Remember forgiveness is not about being okay with how things were or letting things go back to the way they were, its letting go of that pain and not letting it control you.

Whether your actions or something beyond your control caused the pain, it’s essential to remember everyone around us is going through immense struggles. Some of them might be outspoken while others are reserved. It’s important to be kind always. Love doesn’t always end when a relationship ends don’t deny yourself of that love or to try and push it away. It’s still painful at the moment but it’s already getting less and less so each day. I believe to love and being loved is the most beautiful feeling in the world and I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything.